The Holyrood Huddle

My first post is almost as exhilirating as my first sexual experience....with Cory's mom. She was gentle but firm, and allowed me to explore any and all notions of butthole pleasures that I had read about in the magazines. Afterwards, we held each other and watched a Tobey McGuire film.

p.s. Damn the Montreal Canadiens for breaking my heart....again.

Calling All Non-Businesspeople!

Do YOU need an awesome slogan to go on your business card to help impress the ladies?! Where will you get one? It's obvious you can't come up with one all on your own.

Luckily for you, there's the Sloganizer! Type in any word you want and it'll come up with a great slogan for you! And if you don't like the one they gave you, try again!

Philip typed in "Susan" and got: "Susan--spice up your life!" Fitting, really.

Philip gives you: "Philip. See more. Do more."

Enjoy!

Star Wars Much?

We all know the propensity for Star Wars to engender hysterical mmm... fondness in people. Especially people with Computer Skillzzz... Looks like anyone can make a lightsaber battle now (gazzzzooong!). Check this one out...

Via: VideoSift

My Life as a Domestic Goddess

I know you're probably thinking "Jordan - domestic? Ha!" (or, more likely, "Jordan - Goddess! Scoff!") but yesterday I spent 3 whole hours preparing a birthday meal for the current beau. And that three hours doesn't even count the time it took the night before to bake the cheesecake (yes, those are chocolate leaves!).

For the main course I served: Prawns in a chocolate chilli sauce, beef tenderloin with a blue cheese crust, creamy potatoe dumplings, tomato basil mozarella salad, and grilled goat cheese salad. Oh me jesus, it was some good!

As my over-exuberance in the kitchen might indicate, methinks that my state of constant unemployment is starting to catch up with me. And the government thinks so too. I got a letter in the mail a week ago requesting/demanding that I report to an interview with an EI Investigation and Control Officer tomorrow morning to determine my entitlement to EI benefits.

I'm a little shitbaked. But it did spur me to gung-ho it with the job searching this week, and to really put the heat on my ex-boss to rehire me in some capacity. So, who knows: my care free days mooching off the government's teet may be coming to an end. Awk well, we had a good run, didn't we Sam?

Anyway, I'll let you know how the meeting goes. Any suggestions on how to win the heart of a government employee?

Throw away your TV

As if you didn't know, this is the Official Turn Off Your TV Week. Pictured is one of my favourite shirts from threadless called "Technology Ruins Nature" (appropriately enough).
I know I watch (or have watched) far too much tv. In fact, I was contemplating an attempt to cut myself off from tv & the internet(!) in the near future- for a sort of quasi-experiment--on myself.

But, as it turns out, I'm just 2 days late getting into this Turn off the Tv event...and so I'm gonna just try and go with that. Yeah, I had no idea it existed either.

And it's not to say that I watch a lot of tv (although, I find it hard to believe I'll be missing LOST tonight. [Imagine!] and do movies count because they're shown on the tv? what about the theatre? questions, questions...)...But if they come out with Turn off your Computer week- Call the ambulance- I may be just about fucked.

HOw are you all with the Televising Device?

Chopper: Life and Times of an Aussie Crim

What does everyone think of this guy?

Chopper Read, yessir, bestsellin' Aus author, proud victorian, earless and hard-core tatted. Titillated? Tantalized? T'intrigued?

Learn more on Wikipedia. Also, cast an eye to the Melbourne Crime section to learn about the ongoing gang wars in this fair city.

Now, about that countries project... Are you aware Jill knows a guy married to a ... BHUTANESE woman? So it looks like I'll have plenty o' info for the upcoming forum.

It's all good in the Fitzroy hood.

Peace--Peas on earth as Philbot's shirt proudly read.

Kekekekeke

Last one, I promise. I just have to post this, as I know Cory in particular is going to love this shit:

Best feature? Balls on the engines. Japan is wicked.

MacroAvocado

Hey phil, glad you're back safe and sound. Nina just got her new camera in the mail- A Sony dsc w-30 which, I think, is awesome... and she's helped me to find out what the buttons on my camera actually do. hehehe herrhmmm ahem. Anyway, here's a picture i took with the "so-called" "Macro Focus" function (the little flower). I had no idea what it did before. ha.

It's a shot of my (nina's) little avocado plant. I grew that mofo from the seed. (click to enlarge & reveal texture)
Now, though, I'm sort of at a loss as to how to STORE all these pictures. My computer is filling up, so i'm wondering: should I just burn off a disk of the whole memory card at a time? or (for ye Mac users), should I put them into iPhoto first, and Then burn a disk? I don't want to get them all over the place, and plus, there are a bunch of random pics that just float into the library- damn, tis' confusing. I really have no idea. P'tit peu d'aide?

There and back again

Okinawa part 2

Alright, since Luke is drooling for more (even though he's already been here... !), here are further pictures and associated stories.

The Okinawan's have somehow found pictures of Mrs. Rowe on the internet (I bet Jacob is at fault), and have started making sculptures in her liking. Sweet.

They also found pictures of Janes' girlfriend, and make sculptures of her too. Freaky. Actually, these are all over the place on the Bankoku Shinryokan grounds, which is where they're holding the conference. It was also the site of the G8 meeting back in 2000.

The view from this place is just outstanding, and I imagine you'll agree with my interpretation that this is like the Hawaii of Japan:

While on a tour of the island I saw this, which is obviously a seaweed farm.

After I landed at Narita, I wandered around trying to find my luggage. As the Japanese are just as lazy as Canadians, they have set up long automatic treads to stand on and take you down the length of the airport hallways (like in Pearson). The people who instead decide not to take those are often in a hurry, and are running down the hallways to catch flights or elude the law or whatever it is they're doing. On the ground where they are running are these symbols:

Which, you have to admit, look like people running. Many days later, it finally dawns on me (because they're in the hotel, the conference venue, everywhere) that this doesn't mean "look out, running people!" but "exit". If only they knew, they'd stop showing me respect and call me a stupid whitey.

I haven't actually seen much in the way of Engrish while here, except for these gems from the boxed lunches they gave us one day.

To make by hand taste indeed!

The castle we visited yesterday used to be the seat for the king of the Prefecture of Okinawa, when it was its own country. The people here are descendants of mainland Japan, but there is significant chinese influence as well. There are all sorts of architectural clues that show chinese influence on the island and in the temple, and you can see immediately that it is quite different from the temple in Luke's picture. Anyway, the only disappointing thing is that this castle is actually only some 20 years old for the most part. It has been destroyed 4 times now, but rebuilt each time in as best a likeness as possible. The most recent destruction was during WWII, when the americans bombed much of the island of Okinawa (the Battle of Okinawa being one of the important battles in Asia during WWII). Though I don't have a picture of it, on the inside there is a small section of wall that has managed to live through each destruction, and was part of the original building from 1425. It was sweet.

And, finally, the infamous toilet. I count 7 buttons and 11 lights.

Guess who's back in a motherf****g blouse?!?!?

Konichiwa from Okinawa

Hi all! I'm in Okinawa, roughly half-way between Japan proper and Taiwan. Flying from Vancouver to Tokyo took 10 hours, and I felt more or less like this image suggests I did:

I then wandered through Narita airport (the international airport for Tokyo) bewildered, as it was virtually empty of people, got my luggage significantly later than I thought I should have (since there didn't seem to be any other flights arriving, let alone people in general), and hopped on the limousine service between Narita and Haneda, the domestic airport somewhere else in Tokyo. Limousine actually means bus. We sped (literally), passing what must have been 20 or 30 small hotels that were all painted in some extremely bizarre fashion (for example, one of them was called the rainbow hotel, and each floor was painted a different colour). I also passed by a bunch of important looking buildings and finally got to the Haneda, which it turns out isn't one building, but at least two. The first for All Nippon Airways, and the second for Japan Airlines, which I was traveling on. This was significantly more like a regular airport, and it was *blocked* with people. Made the Vancouver airport seem boring. Hopped onto a second plane and flew the 2.5 hours down to Okinawa in a half-asleep daze, and was picked up there by the Single Molecule Workshop organizers, along with a half dozen other participants, and taken to a hotel somewhere in Okinawa city proper. It was extremely small (my head essentially touched the ceiling in the shower), and HOT. Okinawa is only slightly more North than Hawaii, and as such is quite warm right now and lush with beautiful vegetation, as in this image I took on our drive this morning from the hotel in the city to the conference venue:

Also note the funny boxy cars, which are all the rage in Japan. I'll leave you with this random coincidence; my roomate and I are watching Kill Bill volume 1, and she just bought a ticket to Okinawa. Who knew?! Sayanora.

Warm This House

Hey guys
For anyone in town I'm having a party at my new apt. Tonight. Feel free to drop by if you like. I live above Zapata's on Bates Hill. The entry way is on the back of the building. Just go around the top of the street on to Boggan St. and go up the first set of stairs on your right and you'll hit a small deck in between two apts. Mine is the one on the left.
Sorry about the late notice. Hope to see you there!!!
L.

SUBJ: Freaky Flidays

Hello Ev'rbody:

Here's a few pictures:

WHAT DO YOU THINK!?!??!?!?!?!

You can look at more pictures at flickr.com. Anyway, my coco brother sent me a heartful email claiming I don't blog enough, so here you go locos, here's the good stuff: straight blogging from the beatblogger himself, cocobean123: Crizzbey.

SUBJ: Straight Bloggin

Today is Good Friday, the day when....? Anyway, as it happens, Jill and I are on self-imposed rest and relaxation while we commune with certain higher powers (movies). Jill is hard at work, I'm hard at work, and we're both hard up for good times and dough.

No dough? No pro (blem that is). Just walk around enjoying yourself in the Capital of Stencil Graffittiii. I make the stencils, Jill lays them down straight on the streets of this crazy city.

SUBJ: Boozin, cruzin

Not much in the way of crazy parties for us. We've taken to the high art of crafty recitation. We read line o' verse from our favorite collections: the other person has to rhyme it with a favorite line from a poet who PRECEDED the other and who shares either the first or last name with the first. Then, if successful, the first recitor must counter that with a line from an unpublished poet from a different language, which rhymes but inverses the meter. Usually this is fine, but the tricky part is the next step: both recitors must contribute to the fourth line, such that each foot is in a different meter, and each word uses as a first letter the second letter of the word preceding. This step works half the time: the next step is quite difficult: the second recitor invents words and meters that exactly reflect what the first recitor wrote on a piece of paper two hours earlier and left in the fridge).

We call this "CRAMBO". [A Crambo is what we call the cold piece of paper.)

That's it. I've got a hankering for some crambo.....

Chuck Norris quote of the day

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

thanks to B. Danaher.

First Quarter Report: YOJ

It’s been a while since my last post, and I know many of you stockholders out there are anxiously waiting for reports about the first quarter. Well, from Jan to March I continued looking for work and assessing my options. This basically broke down into me essetialy doing nothing/being really cool (see comic) while living quite well off of the Government of Canada (Suckers). As exciting as that sounds, it was probably the most boring time of my life to date.

But my situation quickly changed when a Mr. Timothy Baker made an exciting purchase of one house, and offered me a room. With the then desperate desire for “something…. ANYTHING!!” new to spice up my bland existence, I immediately accepted. But my luck never ran out there. Because not three full days after moving in I had received a call for a second interview, where I was given the job immediately (It’s a summer internship position with the Geological Survey, a branch of Natural Resources Canada).

So although the year of Jacob got off to a slow start, the summer is looking much better. After the position is finished I am thinking about going back to school to either pursue more Geomatics or perhaps an Earth Sciences degree. But for now I am just going to focus on my current position and enjoy the fuck out of St. John’s in the summer while living at the new Party Capital of Newfoundland and Labrador. Speaking of which, I do hope that all of you who are living away can have a chance to come home for a visit. I promise to have a bbq on behalf of everyone who does return. Plus I’m dying for some TPB trips, camping, swimming, and Frisbee action. So hurry up!

That’s just about it for me.
Take care!
Jake

P.S. This is probably a good time to determine who IS coming home and when. I’ll post some pics of the house, etc. later.

The Great Wall of....Street Meat!

Well, my friend, Justin Hartery who used to work at the Muse is now teaching ESL in Dalian, China. Arielle and I met up with him one time a few years ago in Montreal. And I got a chance to see him over Christmas, and now he's back in China for another year. China!

Click here and check out a video from a friend of his, as they move out into the city for some...Chinese Barbeque! Except this is no ordinary BBQ on a stick- they call it "Chuar"- the variety is impressive, and some items are particularly....chewy?
So go ahead and check it out- and also look for their friend Rick- who is also from Newfoundland, and has been in China for a while longer-this video is a must see- I guarantee you'll walk away with some new cultural understanding of China, fo shizzle.
Happy Mondays!

My new shirt regrets to inform you, but..

In other news, a week from today I will be in Japan. What the fuck.

State of the Blog- Part 4

Howdy All. Thought you might like an update on the state of our ethereal digital endeavour.

Total Posts: 94
Views: We're well past 5 G's. Delicious
Anonymous comments: mmm, stopped for now. At least to make people set up a dummy acct. with some fake name.
Profile: New delicious Picture, compliments of Ms. Jill ~ thanks! (and with a cameo from Crisbie's lap! (sweet).
New Links- Gotta love the Pitchfork~ I'm making it a daily stop. And Casa G's por supuesto. (Taking suggestions for others).

New Members!!!!!

Welcome! Red_Luvs_U & The illustrious Mr. Brad!!!!!!

Thanks for coming aboard, guys! Can't wait to hear all the wonderful, ridiculous things you've got to say.

Matthew: ??? communicates via email. Though, I can verify that he checks this shit daily. Represent.

Some Perspective-

Geography: We cover the globe- Australia-BC-TX-Kingston-T.O.-Fredricton-and All over the Rock. I just think that's impressive.

Attributes: Filmmaker, Students, Masters Candidates, Doctoral Candidates (Sort of, hahaha), Researchers, Law & Medical Students, Hard-workin' men & women, Teachers, and future Teachers (shout out, Janesey!) , Slackers. ;) J/K.

I love you all-
here's to a fabulous weekend
until we meet again,

Slow your role, Playah.

It was the best of times...

...or maybe the worst. The TSSU, a union of which I am a member due to teaching assistantships, has recently passed a new contract. The good: I get a windfall amount of $3000 for having been a full-time TA for the past two semesters. The bad: there are no changes to tuition either in terms of magnitude, or how it gets payed. (I don't get enough per paycheque to pay each term's tuition, and I am not clever enough to save in advance. Also, I get penalized (in the form of fees) if I don't pay it on time. BUT THE UNIVERSITY IS THE ONE PAYING ME. Figure this out.)

Anyway, we grad students and teaching support staff had to vote on this new deal, and because we are short term suckers, it passed. Please be advised that I am also a short term sucker, and that 3000 bucks will help pay my tuition (on time for once!) and take a chunk out of my credit card debt, more immediate concerns than the forever future of graduate student tuition reduction at Simon Fraser University. So, I'm totally psyched about getting this money, but if we only had the foresight to demand better deals, it wouldn't be a one-time buyout.

movie magic

Tahoe ads

Most of these ads are pretty lame (like the "vote democratic" one, as if they're really any better), but I liked the first one well enough to share the link.

http://news.com.com/1606-2_3-6056633.html?tag=cnetfd.sd

Hey! Yeah, I'm Talking to You!

Alright bitches, enough is enough. Philip and I have been going out for over six years now which means I've known all of YOU lot for about that length of time. Every time one of you inspired writers sends an email en mass, I AM NEVER INCLUDED!! While I'm sure Philip loves forwarding me the emails every time, it would be nice to be remembered from time to time!

*evil glare*

SO, from now on, my email address IS (and don't you f*cking forget it!): whitelily@gmail.com

I mean it, I'll make life miserable for you!!!!

Was ist Das....Simpsons?

First, please visit this site:
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060403/SCANNERS/60403001
Next, please answer this question: Is there going to be a (live action) simpsons movie in 2007?

Hunh??

Whu???

Happy Returns!!!

Happy returns to Phil ("Bob") and Luke ("bob") from Tombob. And to all your other people born frustratingly close together...

I remember when Phil and Luke were just little tykes. Luke had a bowl cut, Phil had hippystyles hair. They were the bad boys of French Immersion, regularly putting cherry bombs in toiler bowls and pulling tricks on Boring Warren, the principal. They were damned wild and wouldn't help a younger child up on the fence with them. Those were the days of our lives...

Janes and me were too losery to hang out with them. We formed a growlry where we could go and gnash our teeth, opining on the injustices of fourth form. Yessir, it ain't easy being green....

Happy birthday guys, tell us about ALL the things you get, huhn huhn.... wink wink....

Digicam Help?

Hey Huddlers.

Nina is looking to buy a digital camera, and has had a tough go of it, trying to sort through the brands and features and prices of each, both instore and online.

So, we're looking for a bit of help from ye who've been there...about what you like and don't about your cameras. Then she can take pictures like this one from Port Aransas- at the Beach!

Has anyone got suggestions on:

Brand (she's between Sony (DS-W30 or W50) or Canon [Powershots])

Place to buy

What features to look for? (size, batteries-lithium, or AA-, macro-zoom etc.)

Giver 'er!

Senses challenge!

Go here to take an online quiz to test your senses. I scored a miserable 7/20!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/body/interactives/senseschallenge/

Trew dat!

Just want to let you all know that the Trews show tonight rocked, so much so in fact that I will have to return to club one tommorow to retrieve my socks which were unexpetedly rocked off. In addition to that, I now face several counts of public indecency since I was compelled to rock out with my ... well you get the idea.